Annelies writes:


>I'm on a few mailinglist for nursing mothers. My experience is that the
>fact I know the people for a longer time makes a lot of things much easier.

Hmmm....but we 'know' our email 'friends' in a different way, don't we? I
wonder if this makes a difference. In fact, most of the women I have
counselled by email were unknown to me, even via email.

It is a different interaction altogether.

>OTOH sometimes I'm getting too much emotionally involved what makes it
>harder to step back and say to myself: well, it's their decision, I did my
>word and they take it or leave it. Sometimes I blame myself for bf failure,
>think I should have notivced things earlier.

That's counselling of all sorts, though, isn't it - phone or face to face?
In my case, if I know a mother socially or (worse) if she is a family
member,  I don't counsel her. I pass her on to a colleague. I do this from
experience. I am not an effective bfc if I already know her, and I am too
hard on myself, as well,  in these cases.
>
>And of course, the most important drawback is that you can't see the
>latching. Often i suspect latching problems, and I encourage them to visit
>a bf counsellor, but often the women don't do that and prefer to lean on me.


Agreed.

Heather Welford Neil
NCT bfc Newcastle upon Tyne UK

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