Becky's unpleasant experience with the nurse who wanted to track down a
shield for her daughter-in-law raises an interesting issue - offering
help/support/information by email.

I think we are just feeling our way at present with email, not as bf
supporters but as a communicative species!

I have just written an article on flaming for a newspaper here (yes, Becky,
that was a flame, even though it had no four-letter words in it ) , and did
the usual journo's thing of getting some case histories and an 'expert
view'. It is clear that email is disinhibiting - we say things in an email
or newsgroup post that we wouldn't dream of saying face to face. That means
we can be sensible and professional (like Becky so clearly was) and still
get smacked in the cyberjaw by someone who reacts impulsively....

I am doing more and more counselling by email, and I am aware that it is
quite different from any other form.  So far I have not been flamed, but it
is only a matter of time.....: (

OTOH, some mothers really open up in an email, and some sort of closeness
is achieved quite quickly, because of this disinhibiting thing.

I think on the whole it is a really useful extra way to support bf - but I
would be very interested in other views about how to make it work, and how
to make it positive.  I don't want to set myself up for having a bad day
(and that's how I would feel if I had had that horrid email that Becky had)
and I would also like to know the right way to respond if it happens.
Becky, you responded very well,  but it was not the mother, but the MIL,
and I think that made the approach different.

Heather Welford Neil
NCT bfc Newcastle upon Tyne UK

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