In a message dated 3/7/98 3:41:34 AM,  Jenni wrote:

<< I see the struggle going on in many first time mothers between 'what about
me?' and 'what the baby needs'.......They want to get it right and be the best
parents possible but don't know how.>>

Yes, I see the struggle, and I also see the *yearning* for capability of good
mothering that you've seen. Group leaders see it every week in new moms
groups, especially in the early weeks, sometimes months.

As an example of some mothers who are figuring this out, thought you might
like to hear about last week in new moms group. It was to be the last meeting
day with me for a group of moms with older babies, who had been coming weekly
for many months. They told me  about their plans for their weekly play group
that they had formed months ago when they started in new moms group. They will
be holding their play group once a month at an assisted care facility for
senior citizens. I am just so impressed with this fabulous group of women who
have found a wonderful way to share their enjoyment of mothering. These moms
started out unsure, confused, and as overwhelmed as many new moms are.

While helping new moms realize that very often they have the answers already -
most often I am just confirming what they already know, I watch them learn
mothering from each other.

Deborah Tobin RN BSN IBCLC ACCE
Springfield,VA