I'm several days behind in reading as usual, so I hope this isn't
redundant already. I think a tactful way to say the same thing would be
to say, "since this runs in families the next baby would benefit by
breastfeeding" or more directly, "the next baby should be breastfed to
avoid this or lessen it". You don't want to burn your bridges by being
accusatory. It's hard not to say, "How COULD you not know this stuff!"
but it's not helpful. I'm all *for* guilt up front, but after the horse
escaped the barn, guilt is only detrimental.  Some moms know the
information but don't trust themselves or their circumstances enough to
"chance it". With more confidence in herself as a mother a woman may
breastfeed the second baby with no more *knowledge* than she had
before.  Just my two cents.
Rowena from Texas
Someone wrote:
<<<<> Perhaps one could reasonably assume that counselling an asthmatic
to quit smoking would be in the remit of sound advice whereas saying
"you know if you had Bf this may not have happened." would come under
the heading of giving guilt induction which is pointless [since in the
example the horse has long bolted].I would discipline anyone guilty of
saying such a thing to a parent>

<It might indeed make the mother feel guilty and I really can't see
anything at
all wrong with that.  Guilt is used against mothers for many things like
smoking
during pregnancy, vaccinations, car seat safetly, child proofing homes
etc, the
list is literally endless.  If the mother is told that failing to
breastfeed may
have contributed to or caused her baby's problems the resulting guilt
may be a
very good thing.  Would anyone not tell a mother whose child died as a
result of
not using a car seat that her child might have survived the accident if
she had
used one?  Wouldn't you feel an obligation to make sure that subsequent
children
were put in car safety seats?  Protecting the mother from the guilt
associated
with the negative consequences of her choices does nothing to help her
next
child or even her grandchildren, nieces and nephews etc and seems to
apply
*only* to feeding issues which strikes me as utterly ridiculous.   If
the
failure to breastfeed came from bad advice, it make turn into anger and
outrage
against the givers of such advice and I think that is also a good
thing.  If
more people got angry about the bad advice they were given and spoke out
about
it, HCP might make a better effort to be more careful.  That anger might
also
serve to make the mother desire to do some more research for herself.
Withholding information because it might make a person feel guilty
simply cannot
be right.   It's a paternalistic approach that I find undervalues
women's
abilities to own their own feelings and use them in a mature way.>>>>

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