In a message dated 5/4/2005 8:46:06 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:
Promoting/Defending a nurse that put a strangers baby
to her breast? This weakens our cause in general by
inciting further negative attitudes toward
breastfeeding by focusing on a "non-norm."
Ok..I am probably opening my mouth to insert my own foot, I wish to comment.
While I do agree that putting a stranger's baby to breast is a "non-norm"
and not something I would do, I have a separate spin. The use of wet-nurses is
well documented through history, and up until a few decades ago, was quite
normal. In today's society, the idea of someone nursing another's baby is
"gross" or "nasty" or "wrong". I owe another woman my baby's life for wet
nursing her during my time trying to figure out my milk issues after gastric
bypass. Our story is a bit unique, and a bit "religious" so I apologize in
advance if the Christian spin upsets anyone, but I prayed desperately for God to
provide a way that I would not have to resort to abm for my infant. I wanted
her to have strictly breast milk, because I knew in her delicate state abm
could potentially cause more problems for her, however my milk was not
nourishing her as it should have. During my LLL meeting, a woman I knew only from
the meetings and as the sister in law of my LLL leader, was nursing twins 4 mos
older than my daughter. She was becoming full and uncomfortable, and
neither twin was the least bit interested in nursing. For some reason I just
handed Cate to her and said "here nurse her". I was half joking, but then our
eyes locked and I knew that A) my prayer had been answered, and B) that there
was nothing more natural in the world than my baby be fed from the breast, even
if it couldn't be mine. Cate latched right on and for the first time in her
tender life was nourished until she was so full she dropped off with milk
dribbling from her lips. This woman agreed to nurse Cate whenever, and she
pumped and froze milk. This went on for 4 months. There sad thing was, that as
soon as I told anyone what we were doing, the reactions were the opposite of
what I expected. You would have thought I packed my infant up in worn
blankets and headed down to the river front to the homeless camps to find the
dirtiest, heroin-high prostitute to breast feed my infant. No, I didn't know
Melinda that well, but I was fairly certain that a woman who exclusively bf
twins and attended LLL meetings regularly was a pretty safe bet. I did a lot of
educating of friends and relatives, my own husband was a bit iffy about it,
but after seeing Melinda nurse Cate, he too became convinced. I am a firm
believer in milk banks, and even wet nursing as long as a safe donor can be
found. I know LLL official stance on wet nursing is that we are not to discuss
it, and in no way do I want anyone to think that the LLL leader in my group
presented the idea to us or endorsed it by LLL. This was something that we
came up with on our own and it worked.
Why this long winded story? Because I do feel terribly that the practice
this nurse did was labeled as dirty and sexual and all those things the general
population sees in breastfeeding. I can tell you that I have been in a
department store (and other public places) when I have heard a baby crying
unconsolably in the next aisle and have wanted to do nothing more than walk up to
it and pick the poor thing up and put it to MY breast to comfort it. Not
because I get sexual gratification from having an infant at my breast but
because I hate to see a poor babe suffering needlessly and wish to comfort it. I
have witnessed first hand the beautiful act of selflessness of a "stranger"
who wanted to help my baby grow and thrive. There is nothing dirty or
disgusting about a baby eating where nature intended. Of course bf is more than just
about eating...it is also about love, comfort, and safety...isn't that at the
top of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs??? While I don't agree this nurse should
have done this without the parent's permission, I don't think she should
have received that severe a penalty, when based on what I read, she was only
acting on her heart.
Renee Drake RN CLC
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