Hasn't everyone here been in a smoker lighting contest?  It used to be 
standard entertainment at beekeeper summer picnics.

The rules:

Your choice of reasonable, plausible smoker fuels (no gasoline) and smoker, 
and a book of matches.

First to light and and set down her/his smoker wins, provided the smoker 
keeps going by itself for a set period of time --  I seem to recall five 
minutes. 

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