As I catch up on my lactnet reading I would like to add a few thoughts.

Re: Accepting a mother's decision that is different than we would decide for
    her

As an RN and an IBCLC I give mothers information to make an informed
decision.  If I tell her what to do then I have made a decision for her.
This is not my responsibility nor priviledge.  I will not be the one living
with the consequences.  When a mother makes a decision that to me is "off
the wall" then I have to wonder what information I do not have about her
situation.  Often I never find out.

Sometimes I suggest that the mother look into the future - in ten years how
would she answer this question "I wish I had breastfed longer" or "I wish I
had stayed at the office more".  It helps to get a perspective on
priorities.

There is a difference between making a choice and non-compliance.
Non-compliance is a mother who wants to comply with our
advice/instructions/suggestions but is not able to (ie cannot afford or
access or remember).  A mother may be making a choice and we see it as
noncompliance.

Finally, I try not to be attached to outcome.  (This is not easy - I am
*not* ambivalent about breast vs artificial means: breast is best and at
times I feel as if I have failed a mother, then I go back to the 1st point)

Re: Bikinis and such

I, too, heard the "what if he whips out his penis" line.  Unfortunately,
this question was asked by a woman at a breastfeeding class to teach
breastfeeding support personnel :-(. (My first thought was: there won't be
a baby on the end of it :->)  To think that a woman who wants to support
other women to breastfeed can equate a penis with a breast and public
breastfeeding with a man exposing his genitals in public - we have long way
to go...

Joy RN IBCLC (Mom to Kate 17yo and Ré 14yo)