I am a birthmother of a 21 year old.  At that time there were no open
adoptions, adoptive nursing would have been considered weird, and we were
encouraged not to even see the baby.  I have been doing a lot of research
and discussions with other bmothers recently and this was common practice
all over the US.  I would not have said this a year or two ago, but IF there
has to be adoption, the adoptive parents should get the baby at delivery if
at all possible.  The baby needs to bond with his parents and the parents
need to bond to him, as soon as possible.  I know the pain that the bmother
feels--too well--but she is giving the baby to other parents because it is
best for the baby and should know that if he bonds to her and gets used to
breastfeeding from her, he will have problems bonding to his other mother.
I am a radical about breastfeeding, but in adoption, it should be the
adoptive mother who does it. Just my thoughts on the subject.

Kay Hagan-Haller
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I am only one, but I am one.  I cannot do everything, but I can do
something; and what I should do and can do, by the grace of God, I will do.
--unknown author
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[log in to unmask]  mother to Kris(21), Meredith(15), Ryan(13), Matt(10),
Melissa(8),                                                 and Andy(5)