Karleen and Marianne -- for me, the issue with the foster mother isn't the
breastfeeding part .... it is the the notion that BF is (or might
be) occurring UNDER THE RADAR.

I don't need to remind those of us in the lactation advocacy world that
-- for a whole LOT of folks outside of our world -- there is an "Eeww"
factor involved with the use of human donor milk or (gasp!)
cross-nursing/wet nursing/shared breastfeeding/co-breastfeeding/choose your
favorite phrase.  Now -- just STOP those itching keyboard fingers.  **I** am
not saying it is icky.  But most folks out there would need a lot of
education to "get it."

Even if the judges and human services workers can be convinced of the
"rightness" of cross-nursing, remember that the social workers and judges
(frankly) hold almost every card in a foster parent arrangement.  The mother
who is "caught in a lie" -- and not telling the whole truth will be viewed
as such -- will be seen as a risky foster parent ("If she is not telling us
that she is BF this foster child, what *else* is she not telling us?").  And
risky fosters won't be allowed to receive kids to care for.  This foster
parent could blow her chances to provide a loving, caring home for this
child, and others in the future.

And even if the judges and human services workers can be convinced of the
"rightness" of cross-nursing, I think that is an elelment that has to be
weighed VERY carefully if there is, in fact, a chance -- no matter how
slight -- that the child will be reunited with its birth mother.  Think
of the cultures in the world where "milk siblings" are according special
status -- like a member of the family.  I think it is fair to say that
breastfeeding is NOT a benign, innocuous activity.  It creates a bond that
goes far beyond feeding, as we well know.  Agencies have to protect the
child's current and future safety and welfare ... and even in a
highly-enlightened, breastfeeding-is-normal world, cross-nursing would add a
layer that may be more confounding than simplifying.

Liz Brooks JD IBCLC FILCA (a *pro bono* child advocate in her spare time)
Wyndmoor, PA, USA

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