What we can say for certain is that the mother who supplements formula
from day one is no less worthy a human being and no less deserving of
our respect and support. Can we say she is a better or worse or equally
good mother than someone who fed some other way? Marianne wants to know
what is our framework for making any such assertion. May I say, in other
words, Marianne asks what are the goals of motherhood? 

Could we all agree upon the goals of motherhood? I don't think so. When
I look around I have to acknowledge that there are some lovely families
out there who didn't do it my way and who have somehow : ) managed to
raise up some very excellent young human beings who seem securely
attached and enjoy good health (more complicated assessments).

When I'm working I have to keep reminding myself two things: 1. there
are a lot of ways to do it right. 2. There is a very good reason I am
not the mother of all babies: I am not qualified. 

For me personally, I don't need to know what the overarching universal
goals of motherhood are in order to do my job, which is to protect,
promote and support breastfeeding. And when that fails or is
unachievable for any particular client, it's to protect, promote and
support an encompassing vision of a healthy mother/baby relationship.
Its my "umbrella."

If I could identify and verbalize the current gestalt that we are all
being swept away on it has to do with this newly recognized "competence"
the infant brings to the picture and the heretofore unrecognized
potential that might exist for development of the infant - of humanity!
- if mothers could only learn to provide the correct environment
(habitat?) within which this potential will be realized. 

Does that sound cynical? Don't get me wrong: I love it! It's thrilling
and new and full of possibilities. It has exciting evidence based
underpinnings. It makes intuitive sense - it just feels right to most of
us. But I hope everyone can see how that can easily be used against
mothers. And if anyone thinks we have come to the end of the story about
how to mother children, or that we have reinvented motherhood for once
and for all - sorry sister, it's not on. Don't forget it's only fifteen
years back or so that lactation consultants were telling mothers "there
are three positions for breastfeeding," and instructing mothers in the
R.A.M. method of latch. Cringe-worthy stuff.   

Using sarcasm, fear-mongering, and laughter against mothers - yikes! 

I have never seen that straight up myself. But when an lc adheres to a
particular mothering idealogy I can imagine she could become quite
dogmatic and come off as a bully in a subtler way. Our real clients live
and make their choices and live out their consequences in a complex real
world which is often at odds with how we think things should be. 

Many of us are very sensitive of how our vision of "mothering through
breastfeeding" excludes some women, either our own younger less educated
selves, or women we love, our best friends, our sisters, our daughters.
How is "protecting, promoting, and supporting breastfeeding" possibly
perceived as smug or clubby or hurtful to some women we wonder? We came
here to help! At this particular moment in my career I am done agonizing
over it. I give my clients the evidence based information they need to
make their best choices. My code of ethics and professional
standards/scope of practice guide my way. I'm not coming over to wet
nurse the baby. And all mothers, breastfeeding or otherwise, can come in
under my "umbrella" vision. 

It's imperative that we not bash our sisters with our knowledge but that
we use it to raise each other up. 

So who's not doing that? 

Kristen Panzer, MS, IBCLC, RLC

 

This e-mail transmission and any documents, files or previous e-mail messages attached to it, are confidential. If you are not the intended recipient, or a person responsible for delivering it to the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any review, disclosure, copying, dissemination, distribution or use of any of the information contained in, or attached to this e-mail transmission is STRICTLY PROHIBITED. If you have received this transmission in error, please immediately notify LifeCare, Inc. by telephone at (888)604.9565 and then delete the message and its attachments from your computer.

             ***********************************************

Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html
To reach list owners: [log in to unmask]
Mail all list management commands to: [log in to unmask]
COMMANDS:
1. To temporarily stop your subscription write in the body of an email: set lactnet nomail
2. To start it again: set lactnet mail
3. To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
4. To get a comprehensive list of rules and directions: get lactnet welcome