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Subject:
From:
Debra Ray <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Wed, 14 Dec 2005 19:50:34 -0500
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OK Ladies - I need some assistance. This is regarding my granddaughter. MJ
is 10 1/2 months old, exclusively breastfed by a stay at (my) home 19 y/o
mother who practices attachment parenting. MJ nurses on demand, (we don't
own any bottles)co-sleeps and has never been away from her mother for more
than long enough for her mother to run to the grocery store. 

The problem is:  The father of the baby wants overnight visitation. The
parents have been trying to work together. He has been welcomed in our home,
sometimes for overnight or 2, and she and the baby have spent overnights in
their (he and his mother's)home. Now he's saying he wants 3 days every other
weekend. 

He does not work (or pay child support) consistently, has had run ins with
the law, and has significant anger management problems. She had to call the
police last night while I was working because he was shouting, slamming
doors, waking the baby etc etc etc.

I have tried reasoning with him, showing him E. Baldwin's research and so
forth. He feels that I have "doctored" the papers because I work and the
hospital and can do that.  (I wish I had that kind of pull!)

Does anyone know of any other research or suggestions we can make?  He seems
to think that nursing is the issue, we keep telling him that secure
attachement is the issue. 

Please forgive me for the personal nature of this post. I'm just so
desperate to do what is best for this baby and her parents. I've also had
nursing mothers in similar situations and wondered what to tell them.  Thanks!
Debra Ray, RNC, IBCLC

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