>
>
>I think the husband's attitude is very understandable considering
>current societal attitudes to breasts, incest, etc.  Perhaps the
>fact that this is a boy gives him more concern than did the girl.
>The boy touching his wife's breasts may seem to him to be a
>violation of the marital contract even when nursing didn't.  I'm not
>saying these feelings on his part are reason not to let the child
>comfort in this way, just trying to understand where he may be
>coming from.  These thoughts are quite possibly not even conscious
>on his part.
>
I agree. I think we can, indeed, make subtle distinctions between
breastfeeding itself and other things that are said and done that are
more distantly associated with nurturing babies.

I was surprised to find myself reacting negatively to the actions -- but
mainly the statements -- of someone else's older child, a boy. When the
mother described him as a "real boob man" I realized why I was
uncomfortable with what he was saying and doing. I can't shake my
association of that word with sexual play and much prefer breasts being
called by their proper name for their proper function.

I also found myself wondering, well, a 12 year old boy touching his
mother's breasts would make me feel concerned; so at what point does it
become "not ok"? And is it that a girl is "allowed" to do this or that
she is less likely to do this? If the latter, what does that say about
sexual development?

So if I am having this reaction, I can certainly empathize with a
father's reaction. If it has been so hard for us to show that
breastfeeding is the normal way to feed infants, it will probably take
us a lot longer to normalize older baby or toddler breastfeeding, let
alone the actions and words of older children around the mother's body.

Jo-Anne

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