<The bottle fed grandchildren are beautiful, just probably could have
been a
tad smarter if she BF, but seem smart enough at this point (almost 5 and
almost 2). Of course the first one had endless ear aches and the second
had asthma before one year, but I'm sure I couldn't even convince DIL
this
was from not BF and I just don't discuss it with her. Being a MIL you
learn when to bite your tongue (either the hard way or the easy way:-)>
Amen to that last remark! Right you are, Pat. An almost exact duplicate
of my situation with one of my DIL's. I was very impressed when I watched
how lovingly and gently and slowly paced she made the bottle feedings for
#1. (Now in braces at 13, but smart as a whip.)
One thing that it did teach me was not to be so smug and certain in my
own mind about the interpersonal relationship I presumed all mothers
missed by bottlefeeding. Very tender mothering. I just don't think she
got as much out of it as she would have with more oxytocin and prolactin
in her system.
(I felt like someone had gypped me out of something special with my first
3 when I discovered how enjoyable I found it the fourth time when I
finally got past the first 5-10 days, at which time I had "thrown in the
towel" with painful, damaged nipples with the first 3.)
I had my full "say" when #2 was on the way, by way of letter about how
very much I enjoyed the experience after someone finally taught me how to
nurse comfortably. I'm sure I mentioned health benefits as well. No
reply. Formula fed, no questions asked. Also a very, very bright child,
but long history of ear infections, Abx, allergies, daily antihistamines,
ear tubes etc. etc.
I discussed it briefly with my son (my #3) and he said he thought she may
have tried it in the hospital with #1 for a few days but rejected any
further trial.
He wasn't about to say anything more to her, for lots of reasons. One of
them could just as well have been "Look how well I turned out, and you
didn't nurse me beyond 5 days."
So I kept my thoughts to myself when their #3 came along, except to
accentuate the positive and commend anything I particularly admired about
her mothering and her home, etc. etc. That little one is also going to be
smart as a whip, highly verbal, and is already showing signs of a musical
gift, at 3 years old. But at their last visit, there was of course the
ubiquitous Abx and antihistamine Rx 2-3x daily.
Time will tell. They know about my interests, as every time there is a
conference in Scottsdale, that gives me an excuse to take an extra
vacation to see them. And that's not far from Acapulco as the crow flies.
Maybe I'll be able to take another teen granddaughter to another ILCA
convention in a few years!
Jean
********************
K. Jean Cotterman RNC, IBCLC
Dayton, Ohio USA
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