>This makes me wonder if this can have a relation with the cultural tabu
(sp?) on
>sex within  xxx months past birthing in lots of societies? Do you know Kathy D?

I don't know the answers to these questions, but I can contribute some
observations.

1) there is at least one study (I have it in my office somewhere, but don't
anyone ask me to dig it out of its pile) noting that most breastfeeding
women have lower libidos for some time after birth

2) one needs to distinguish between just 'not being in the mood tonight' and
not being able to achieve arousal and orgasm, these are different things; I
suspect most women with young babies are simply 'not in the mood' at the end
of a long day, but might very well be in the mood and able to achieve
arousal and orgasm at other times of the day if someone would watch the baby
and their husband was nearby (but usually there is no one to watch the baby
and husband is at work then anyway)

3) people in western industrial countries, especially the US, place a much
larger value on sexual behavior between husband and wife than people in many
other places seem to do; post-partum sex tabus (or taboos) can last as long
as 5-7 years, and no one seems to care too much (in some contexts the man
has other wives, or other outlets)

4) from an evolutionary perspective, it would be adaptive for the mother of
a young child to avoid sex as long as the baby was still nursing often, to
augment the natural lower fecundity from lactational amenorrhea, as we all
know that l.a. doesn't work for all women for as long as they might like

5) I would be very wary of attributing lower libido after child birth to
depression -- this makes it sound as though all women should be hopping to
get back to as frequent sex as their husband likes right after the
earth-shattering, life-changing event of childbirth (especially first
childbirth and first motherhood), and if they are not in the mood, they
should take anti-depressants so they will be -- I think it is a good thing
for the mother to be mainly tuned into her child rather than her spouse
after birth, and I think this is an opportunity for the husband to also
realize that the needs of the baby and the preferences of his wife should
come before his sexual gratification as well -- a time for growth in
emotional maturity for him??

Just my .02 worth.

Kathy Dettwyler

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