In a message dated 95-09-30 00:04:05 EDT,  Karen wrote:

>There is a doctor here who tells
>moms they must breastfeed. If they choose not to, he then takes them
>aside and informs them that they are "bad" mothers. He does not educate
>nor does he take personal desire into the picture. I try to encourage
>these moms, but find myself frustrated. I tell them that there is no
>doubt breast is best (and I discuss the problems with formula feeds),
>however I also tell them that enjoying the baby is the most important
>issue. Any comments or help?

One of our physicians, who really is a good guy but not terribly tactful,
sometimes coerces new moms into breastfeeding, then breezes out and writes a
consult for me to see them for instruction.  It is a delicate situation,
isn't it?  I try to get a sense of what the mother really feels before I jump
in with both feet.  I tell the moms who are not just ambivalent but clearly
opposed to breastfeeding that I think breastfeeding is wonderful, but if it
puts a barrier between mom and baby (i.e., if mom is repulsed by feedings--I
don't use those words with the mom, of course), it may not be the right thing
for them. As someone posted regarding nausea with BF, what does it do to the
bonding process if there's a strong negative association with the baby 10 or
12 times a day?  ( If there's the least bit of interest, I encourage them to
try BF.  If it works for them, great.  If not, they at least know they are
making a decision based on experience.)  Most of the moms decline to put the
baby to breast, but last week, a para 2 who bottle fed her first child agreed
to "give it a try," (her husband was very enthusiastic about the idea), and,
when I did her telephone follow-up three days after discharge, she was doing
well.  Should I be more directive?  I don't know.  I guess my feeling is that
every baby should have breast milk, but not every mother should BF.

>as much as I enjoy Lactnet, I
>find it difficult to recommend to nonbreastfeeding advocates. The
>stories and chitchat (as in what did your child call breastfeeding?)
>only serve to give the opposition to point out how unprofessional and
>"radical" we are. Okay, I'm open to the onslaught. Karen

Karen, I see Lactnet not only as a vehicle for educating and exchanging
information, although that's certainly an important function, but as a badly
needed source of support for those of us who don't always find ourselves in
agreement with the world at large.  I think the few people who have expressed
dissatisfaction with the list expected--and wanted--only cold, hard facts,
not a sense of community.  My dictionary defines camaraderie as "the
familiar, buoyant spirit proper to good comrades, characterized esp. by
mutual trust and loyalty."   For me, that's Lactnet!  It's an opportunity,
even for those of us who mostly lurk, to trade stories and experiences,
network, share inside jokes, and feel secure in the knowledge that we're with
kindred spirits.

 I've been considering printing out posts that might be of interest to the
non-zealots  :-)  at work, putting them in a ring binder, and leaving it in
the report room, so that people can browse when and if they want to.  Perhaps
you could try this with your colleagues?

Judy D in WV