This is one of those areas that has a lot of variation depending on the
situation.  Of course, if mom's could follow our suggestions with only
verbal input (or with us demonstrating on ourselves or with dolls, teddy
bears etc) it would be ideal.  However, sometimes we can't seem to
describe what we are suggesting adequately or the mom just can't picture
what we're describing.  Some people are tactile learners.  In these
cases, they learn better if we "take them through the motions".  I find
I rarely handle the breast myself.  I can nearly always place the mom's
hands where I feel they will work best, then place my hand over hers to
guide it.  I do at times find I need to shape her breast and aim it for
her to show her how to do it.  Then I have her do it herself after she's
seen what she needs to do.
Another situation where I will "take the lead" is when I go in a room
and find baby frantically trying to latch and mom very frustrated and
"all thumbs".  Then I may take the approach of  "Let me show you how to
latch baby, then I'll explain why I did what I did and you'll be able to
try it yourself."  If I try to explain to her what to do and baby is
wailing, she won't hear what I say.
We feel flattered when a mom says "Can I take you home with me?", but
when I hear that, I feel like I haven't fully done my job.  There are
situations when we need to take a hands on approach, but until we
transfer that to mom being able to do it herself, we haven't finished
the job.

Winnie

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