Janet,
As a mother of a now extremely difficult 5-year-old I can say that
listening to that psychologist is a recipe for chaos.
When our firstborn son was a mere two weeks old, I wouldn't put him in bed
with me because I was told it was dangerous..nor did I let him in
later...It wasn't until I picked up Sears' "night-time parenting" that I
understood why we'd been fighting with the child for 18 months about
bedtimes.  Finally, at the ripe age of two we let him sleep with us, and
now the child is adaptable and can fall asleep anywhere he has a blanket
and a soft cushion.  When he's tired he goes to sleep.  It's not worth
fighting him to go to sleep - all it does is tire out the parents.  I can
definitely say that the whole "the child must sleep in his own bed" routine
got us off to a rough start that I'm not sure I will ever be able to make
up for totally.  I am sure there are times when he just doesn't trust us
because we let him "cry it out" at four months old - not that he remembers
that, but he remembers feeling abandoned.  Contrast this to our
well-tempered 11 month old - the only one who was welcome into his mother's
bed from age 1 day, who rarely cries and always has something very cheering
to say (even if we don't understand what it is he's saying) with a smile on
his face.

We often come under criticism for allowing our children to decide things
for themselves.

Very interesting this topic, since just today I saw Mike Woolridge on an
ILCA tape talking about infants being intelligent people who express
preferences. Reminds me of the tv show "Kids are People Too" and how maybe
LC's should make a documentary along the theme "infants are people too".

Nofia

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