Janet, As a mother of a now extremely difficult 5-year-old I can say that listening to that psychologist is a recipe for chaos. When our firstborn son was a mere two weeks old, I wouldn't put him in bed with me because I was told it was dangerous..nor did I let him in later...It wasn't until I picked up Sears' "night-time parenting" that I understood why we'd been fighting with the child for 18 months about bedtimes. Finally, at the ripe age of two we let him sleep with us, and now the child is adaptable and can fall asleep anywhere he has a blanket and a soft cushion. When he's tired he goes to sleep. It's not worth fighting him to go to sleep - all it does is tire out the parents. I can definitely say that the whole "the child must sleep in his own bed" routine got us off to a rough start that I'm not sure I will ever be able to make up for totally. I am sure there are times when he just doesn't trust us because we let him "cry it out" at four months old - not that he remembers that, but he remembers feeling abandoned. Contrast this to our well-tempered 11 month old - the only one who was welcome into his mother's bed from age 1 day, who rarely cries and always has something very cheering to say (even if we don't understand what it is he's saying) with a smile on his face. We often come under criticism for allowing our children to decide things for themselves. Very interesting this topic, since just today I saw Mike Woolridge on an ILCA tape talking about infants being intelligent people who express preferences. Reminds me of the tv show "Kids are People Too" and how maybe LC's should make a documentary along the theme "infants are people too". Nofia Email: mailto:[log in to unmask] Website: http://members.tripod.com/~briutek/index.htm ICQ: 7300871