VIRUS ALERT
 
If you receive an email with a subject of "Badtimes," delete it
immediately WITHOUT reading it.  This is the most dangerous Email virus
yet.  It will rewrite your hard drive.  Not only that, but it will
scramble any disks that are even close to your computer.  It will
re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream
gets melted.  It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards,
screw up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to
scratch any CD's you try to play.  It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend
your new phone number.
 
It will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.  It will drink all your beer
 
and leave its socks out on the coffee table when there's company coming
over.
It will put a dead mouse in the back pocket of your good suit and hide
your car keys when you are late for work.  Badtimes will make you fall
in
love with a penguin.  It will give you nightmares about circus midgets.
It will pour sugar in your petrol tank and shave off both your eyebrows
while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing
the
dinner and hotel room to your Visa card.  It will seduce your
grandmother.  It does not matter if she is dead, such is the power of
Badtimes, it reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things we hold
most dear. It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't
find it.  It will kick your dog.  It will leave libidinous messages on
your boss's voice mail in your voice!  It is insidious and subtle.  It
is
dangerous and terrifying to behold.  It is also a rather interesting
shade of mauve.  Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease.  It will
leave
the toilet seat up.  It will make a batch of Methamphetamine in your
bathtub and then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to
chase High School kids with your new snow blower.
These are just a few of the signs... Be very careful!
--
"Test everything.  Hold on to the good."  (1 Thessalonians 5:21)
 
Tom Elliott
Chugiak,  Alaska
U.S.A.
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