While reading with the kids this evening, we stumbled upon an exchange that
exhibits a lighthearted resemblance to our recent conversations on Bee-L.

 

For those who have not had the pleasure of being acquainted with Hank the
Cowdog, he is the self-styled 'Head of Ranch Security' for a spread in the
panhandle of Texas.

 

In 'The Case of the Mysterious Voice', he and his sidekick Drover are
discussing whether parrots can really talk or whether they simply mimic what
they hear- Hank narrates what follows:

 

Hank: "All right, Drover, let's settle this by using the scientific method."

 

Drover: "Gosh, that's a good idea."

 

Hank: "Yes, Instead of carrying on a pointless argument, we're going to call
upon science to settle it once and for all."

 

Drover: Oh goodie. We're going to test your theory?"

 

Hank: "Not exactly." I gave him a withering glare. "We're going to stick
your nose in the corner and let you stand there until you understand that
parrots don't talk."

 

Hank narrates: His [Drover's] jaw dropped in surprise.

 

Drover: "That's not science!"

 

Hank: "Of course it is. Science already knows that parrots don't talk, so
testing would be a tee-total waste of time."

 

Drover: "Yeah, but."

 

Hank: "The question science must resolve is, how long will it take for you
to admit what science figured out hundreds of years ago?"

 

Drover: "Are you serious?"

 

Hank: I showed him two rows of gleaming fangs. "Do I look serious? To the
corner, move it!" He whined and moaned, but I didn't care. Fifteen minutes
later, I was dying of boredom. "Okay, time's up. Put your pencils down and
close your test booklets."

 

Drover: "I don't have a pencil."

 

Hank: "Don't argue with me. Have you come up with the correct answer?"

 

Drover: "Parrots can't talk."

 

Hank: "Excellent. Parrots can't talk, they can only."

 

Drover: "Mimic."

 

Hank: "Congratulations, son, you've passed the test. You see what can happen
when you apply yourself and do your homework?"

 

Drover: "It's all baloney."

 

And the conversation gets further derailed from there .

 

 


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