In both professional psychological/psychiatric circles and in common use in
the US, the word "co-dependency" refers to one person helping a second
person do something that is harmful/immoral.

Thus, if I help or encourage my spouse to be an alcoholic because I get
power from being the one to constantly 'rescue' him, then he is dependent on
alcohol and I am co-dependent on alcohol.  I might make excuses for him to
his boss, or bail him out of jail, or say he is sick when he is really
hung-over.  All these things I do enable him to avoid the consequences of
his actions -- even though I may be saying that I wish he wasn't an
alcoholic, I am helping him be one.

So the respondents to the Jane survey are saying that either the baby is
helping the mother persist in harmful/immoral behavior (nursing a 5 year
old) or the mother is helping the child persist in harmful/immoral behavior
(nursing at 5 years old).  Not sure who the young women view as the
dependent one and who the co-dependent one, in this case.

The point being that the term "co-dependent" does not mean two people who
are "interdependent" on each other to the benefit of both.

Kathy Dettwyler

P.S.  Disclaimer: My husband is not an alcoholic!  ;)


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