>
>
>Dear Friends:
>    I was thinking that children give back to us what  we teach them. If we 
>have parented in a distant fashion, and put them into  daycare and ignored 
>their cries, we are teaching them. And one day, in the  future, when we are 
>helpless because we are old, these children will give back  to us the teachings we 
>have given to them.
>    There is not enough money available (for most  people) to provide care to 
>babies or to the elderly that is as good as we  would want for ourselves.
>
I guess my concerns are two-fold, here.
1. Is there an assumption that nursing home care is inadequate?
2. Is there always a direct link between parenting and adult behaviour?

Even loving mothers can have troubled teens or adult children who suffer 
from mental illnesses or who, for one reason or another, do not have 
good relationships with those parents. Likewise, the loving mothers can 
become older adults who need more care or different care than what their 
children can offer them.
I don't think we should judge the adequacy of parenting by these outcomes.

I'm writing this calmly, but I feel it is something that we need to be 
very cautious about. There are no guarantees in this life. You can do 
everything right and still face pain from those you love. That's no 
reason to not try our bests, but it is a reason to not judge those who 
choose differently without having any idea why they do it.

Yes, this is definitely breastfeeding-related. I am willing to wager my 
credentials that when any of us thinks "I have no idea why she didn't 
breastfeed!" they are more honest than they think.... Because we have no 
idea doesn't mean the mother doesn't have a reason.

Ask our farmers if we really get everything we sow. :-)

Jo-Anne

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