I want to add my support and encouragement for the mother of the baby who
has had so many health problems.  You've done well for this child.  I'd like
to put in a word urging you to take equally good care of yourself.  A lot of
what you communicate reveals feelings of grief .  These feelings (whether
you recognize them today as grief or not) may need gentle tending.

 I've experienced 4 significant losses in the past 18 months.  I would have
told you I was handling it all very well, thank you very much.  Then a
friend suggested I see a grief counselor.  I decided to go once or twice
because I trusted this friend's sense that it might be good for me.  I was
amazed to discover myself spending the first FIVE visits with the counselor
sobbing through the whole hour!  I had no idea I had bottled up that much
stress and grief.

 When we are basically strong people, used to caring for others, we
sometimes forget to care for ourselves.  This can cause us to give til we
give out. Unexpressed grief can cause a lot of problems including
depression. No matter how things turn out with getting this child to nurse,
you have stuck right by him and gone the distance.  Be that kind to yourself
and seek some way to unburden yourself of the stress you've surely
accumulated during this ordeal.

Barbara Wilson-Clay BSEd, IBCLC
Austin Lactation Associates
http://www.lactnews.com

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