Sorry to add to this with a personal note, but my raw nerve has also been
hit dead center.
My third child was 4 weeks old and I was venturing out to a public place
for the first time since she had been born. I went to church, thinking it
couldn't have been more safe. I couldn't have been more wrong.
My daughter was a cranky, coliky baby, and she had just had a nap on the
way there, so she was in a delightful mood for the first time that I could
remember. I sat down in the pew. Two older women behind me started
commenting on how beautiful my little baby was, how old was she, how was
I, how brave I was to be taking her to church being so newly post partum,
etc. I asked them if they wanted to hold her, and they were thrilled. So
I passed her back to them, and they ooohhhed and aaahhhhed while she
cooeed and smiled back at them for about 10 minutes.
Then she started to get fussy, so I took her back. My back was to these
women, so they couldn't see a thing. I nursed in a nursing dress,
couldn't see a thing, they couldn't see anything anyway because they were
behind me, but all the sudden these two women went 180 degrees and started
talking to each other in a tone I could definitely hear, "Oh, how *could*
she. Is she really NURSING that baby? I don't think Father would be very
happy about that. She should go stand in the back of the church if she
wants to do THAT! Women do IT everywhere, now, but in a church? The
nerve of some people... " and on and on. I was beyond mortified.
I tried to brush it off, blame it on them, but it was impossible. It took
about 2 or 3 minutes for the tears to start dripping down my face. By the
time the opening song ended, I was in full blown post partum hysterics. I
ran out of the church, and very luckily spotted an innocent deacon
standing by the door, and I sobbed to him telling his what had happened.
I felt furious, outraged and betrayed all at the same time. I asked him
if this was the policy of the church, because if it was I was never coming
back again, and he gently assured me that it wasn't. He told me that I
was welcome to nurse my baby any time in church or anywhere else, and that
I should have told those women that if they didn't like it, that THEY
should stand in the back of the church!
So some people do get it, and interestingly enough, I did befriend this
man after he had proven himself that day, and later found out that his
wife had never nursed their own children. They were born in a military
hospital in the 50's, where his wife couldn't even hold them for a week
after they were born. Somehow he "got it" despite not having it with his
own children.
*Sigh*. There. Now I feel better.
Trish
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