Priscilla,

I 'm sorry for your experience with the mom who became upset during your
presentation and can empathize with your feelings. I recently went through a
similar situation and will share what I wrote then to Diane Wiessinger,

" ...I talked of formula risks this week in my bfing class and one mom got
upset and said I was bashing moms who formula feed.  It was interesting because
I just actually had asked for what class had heard about bfing and so we
talked of benefits prior and I'd only mentioned a few ill effects from formula and
stated one was lower IQ by about 8 points and she stated, " I can't take
anymore of this, I'm not blaming my mother for my having a lower IQ."  I would
guess she may blame her mother for lots of other things tho...
                                                                     My
response was to acknowledge her feelings and then stated how many formula feeders
just don't have the information for informed choice, etc.
>
> It was the first time in all my yrs of teaching that I've gotten this kind of
response.  I wonder if she also doesn't plan to BF for long or to mix feeds.
Her other statement was something like formula feeding mothers are getting
bashed all the time...mmmm? "

Diane gave me a most helpful response which helped me to realize I'd done
nothing wrong.  (will ask her if she minds if I share what she wrote to me)  I
had planned to speak with this mom privately at the next class (I even wondered
if she'd return) but when she walked in the following week she was chatting
about other things with me and I felt it wasn't necessary.  I guess I handled it
thoroughly enough at the moment, but boy did it bother me for awhile.  No one
likes to think their words have inadvertantly upset someone.

Perhaps, if you feel it necessary to continue to follow up with this nurse
(based on what you've already said) just acknowledging how difficult it must
have been for her to hear what you said because she was grieving a loss and that
she did the best she could without help and support.  ("She was unable to get
him to
take the breast and the only lactation consultant available at that hospital
was unfortunately away on vacation.  She left the hospital pumping and
bottle feeding ebm for a month before she stopped.")

Barbara Latterner, BSN, RN, IBCLC







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