Dear Friends:

I find this discussion helpful as many women have no clue about what
"normal" sexuality after the birth of a baby; breastfeeding gets blamed for
many of the changes and problems. It helps to be reminded of the whole
picture, of how everyone is different, of how complex is the sexuality of
women, and of the different very specific details to suggest to the mothers
whom I serve.

Our intention is clearly to help, to encourage and to embrace women, most of
whom get their information about sex from experts like Dr. Phil and Oprah
and women's magazines and their sexual partners, whereas information about
real women and how they feel and how they respond to their body changes
throughout their childbearing cycle is rarely discussed in a truly open
forum.

When Dr. Susan Spadt and I did a postpartum survey of women's sexual
experiences after birth and breastfeeding, we found some amazing things.
There were 2 distinct populations surveyed: one, well-educated, well-off
white women in a suburb, and the other, low-income, black women in the inner
city. Women poured their hearts out to us, strangers on the telephone,
because they desperately wanted to know if their experiences and feelings
were normal.

The monograph we published on this is for sale from Healthy Children. It was
a pilot study and of course there was no funding to continue.

There were some women that were back in the saddle 2 weeks after birth, and
others that still hadn't resumed the intimate part of life after 6 months
postpartum. If the baby had some medical issues, both partners were fatigued
and libido was low. There was an unexpected finding: breastfeeding women for
whom breast play was NOT part of their sexual script (i.e. what usually
occurred to elicit arousal)  were the ones who resumed full sexual activity
soonest. However, that was only 3 women of 26; not statistically significant
and also very interesting.

warmly,
Nikki Lee RN, BSN, Mother of 2, MS, IBCLC, CCE, CIMI
craniosacral therapy practitioner
www.breastfeedingalwaysbest.com

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