Cynthia, your words are very timely!
<< New losses can trigger the grieving of old losses.>>
I've been nomail for a couple of weeks because I was on vacation. Then, last week, my son shipped out to boot camp. He is 19 and this is what he has planned to do for several years. I am proud of him and supported him in that decision. I thought I was ready for it. I have already sent 2
daughters out into the world, one far enough away that I only see her once or twice a year, so this was not a new experience for me. I still have a daughter at home, so he's not the youngest. However, I am finding it much harder than I anticipated. I recognize the symptoms of grief, for I have
had a couple of occasions to learn to know them well, in all their complexity, similarities and differences. I know how hard grieving is for me, but I didn't expect this to be so hard. People joke and tell me, "Mom, he's just fine. They're taking good care of him..." and so on. And I know they
are right, I know it. But it doesn't change what I feel, which is grief not only for this son leaving, but, surprisingly for me, grief for his brother who died at birth 20 years ago. I'm a Perinatal bereavement counselor. I know how this goes, but I still find myself scolding myself for having
these feelings when my son is fine, I'm sure. Grief is a very complicated thing, and it was good to read verification for what I feel for, no matter what my head knows, we all need verification that it is ok to feel the way we do. Cynthia you have written an eloquent and important piece on the
process and the "place" that is grief. For those who are in it, and that is all of us at some point in our lives, grief is a changing landscape that we are not familiar or comfortable with. It is important for us all to be mindful of these things as we work with mothers who may be experiencing
grief that we may or may not be aware of.
Marsha, who is still waiting for her son to call after missing his call on the 4th of July! ;-(
Marsha Glass RN, BSN, IBCLC ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mothers have as powerful an influence over the welfare of future generations as all other earthly causes combined.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~John S. C. Abbot~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
***********************************************
The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned
LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM)
mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html
|
