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>     ---------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Hi Carrie and fellow lactnetters,
>
> This is my first time replying (other than to intro) so please be
> gentle!  My heart goes out to the woman you describe and the pain she
> must be feeling.
>
> Do you think there may be a way for her to get some help exploring
> issues which may be underlying her reasons for not wanting to
> breastfeed?  I say this because self-esteem and body-image and perhaps
> some unresolved grief (I'm not trying to sound like a psychologist, but
> don't think it's that far off to suspect such issues may face a person
> who has been molested and faced cancer) are going to be there regardless
> of how she chooses to feed her baby.
>
> A positive breastfeeding experience might well help to raise her
> self-esteem, give her some sense of control and have so many other
> positive effects.
>
> I realize that it's easy for me to say this and that type of counselling
> is not what you're there for.  But, do you think she'd be receptive if
> you asked her if she'd had some counselling (which she felt was helpful)
> in dealing with all of this?
>
> So, I guess to make a short story long, I think finding a way to explore
> and perhaps resolve underlying issues may be important. I'm posting this
> to everybody because I think one of the missing pieces in our approach
> (certainly in my part of the country) to "routine prenatal care" is some
> sort of assessment of previous experiences which may impact on a woman's
> decison to breastfeed.
>
> Anyway, I know this is all easier said than done. Back to lurking!
>
> Mary Lou Batty, RN, IBCLC, MN student
> living in suspended animation in grad school