<< There are
 some people who would prefer NOT to see breastfeeding done in public and
 while I do not agree that women should have to hide themselves away, I do
 agree that discretion is not a bad thing either >>

"I feel feeding our children in the
issue, not forcing people to accept bare breasts in public"

veronica brings up a point which is often held to be the proper way to
promote breastfeeding - discretion, "don't feed your toddler,older child in
public in a blatant fashion, it will only work against us."

one way to understand what this means is to rephrase it  -

"there are some people who would prefer NOT to see handicapped people, people
in wheelchairs, people who are fat, etc., in public, and while i do not agree
that these people should hide themselves away, i do agree that discretion is
not a bad thing either."

many people feel just the same way about seeing a person with a handicap or
someone who has, for instance, down's syndrome. does that mean they should
stay at home, out of sight? for many years, it meant exactly that. and people
with various sorts of differences have to fight, sometimes blatantly, for
acceptance and access.

as long as people think breasts are for sex, they will be ashamed and
embarrassed about breastfeeding in public. there is no "magic age" at which a
child is too old to breastfeed, and therefore no "magic age" at which a child
is too old to be breastfed in public. yes, people must accept bare breasts in
public. blatantly exposed mothers breastfeeding children of all ages.

unfortunately, this is not commonly understood and accepted in america. but,
as long as breastfeeding advocates accept this and acquiesce, it will
continue. this is one of the unspoken but plainly obvious objections to
breastfeeding. since breasts are for sex, it is "obvious" to most people that
mothers are performing some sort of sexual act with their children. the older
the baby gets, the more unacceptable breastfeeding becomes. this helps
explain some of the beliefs about weaning "when the child has teeth, when the
child eats solid food, when the child can 'ask for it' " all are given as
reasons for weaning, but they all point to the same thing - a
misunderstanding of the act itself.

a case in point, pardon me if i repeat myself, this is so awful i have told
this story a lot. a woman bought a pump from me and her husband stays at home
with the baby. he "supports" breastfeeding and gives the baby bottles of
expressed milk, but he WON'T TOUCH THE MILK. she has to fill the bottles
herself. luckily the irony and true meaning of this has not totally escaped
this mom.

so what does this mean? this means that like many americans he still has the
feeling that breastmilk is some untouchable bodily fluid.

i feel very strongly about this, because it is a belief system that a great
many breastfeeding supporters are quite attached to. what this means is that
you could have been with me at "breastfeeding rounds" at our local medical
school and hear a famous, world famous in fact, breastfeeding supporter, tell
medical students that any mother and baby that nursed past the age of two
years probably had a psychological problem and needed counseling.

so while i teach mothers ways to nurse discreetly in public, i also educate
them to understand that it is their right, and that of their babies, and they
should never allow themselves to be subjected to the nonsense that happened
in that doctor's office. breastfeeding is not genital sex between adults.

of course, it is an expansion of our usually narrow definition of "sex" - but
that's another discussion that Mrs. Language Person won't get started with
today - as well as family bed implications. too much!

carol brussel IBCLC
not thin, not young, goes out in public nonetheless, and even breastfeeds an
"older child" when we darn well feel like it (age 7 now)

             ***********************************************
The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned
LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM)
mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html