Perhaps one reason some women don't breastfeed is lack of self confidence.
Overwhelmed by their feelings for their babies, they want the very best for them.
More than that, they want perfection.  And they 'know' they can not be perfect, in
their heart of hearts they 'know' they cannot be even extremely good.  I think this is
what the woman who says she gives a daily bottle "Just in case" may be feeling.  Just
in case she isn't good enough.  I've seen women at meetings who are touchingly
dependent on the little 'extras' they give their babies, such as vitamin drops and
teas.  These women find in a supplement of some sort the aid they need in handling a
burden they don't believe they can carry alone.

I've known women to wean colicy babies because they are certain their milk doesn't
agree with the babies.  The babies usually continue to be at least as colicy and I've
heard women comment on that, saying perhaps their milk wasn't at fault after all.
Sometimes it seems as if the mother gains relief from feeling that everything isn't
her fault.

Poor women across the ages who've had to breastfeed may have felt like the Thai mother
Penny Van Esterik quotes as apologizing for breastfeeding because she cannot afford
anything good to give her baby.  Yes, some of this is due to the skillful marketing of
artificial milks but those arrows find their targets because many women find it hard
to believe that what they alone can offer is all their babies need.

Women who can suckle their little ones secure in the knowledge they are providing the
very best are blessed.  Some, while quite willing to believe that true of others, just
can't quite accept that it is true for them too.

Alice Martino
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