----- Original Message -----
From: "Gwen Moody" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Tuesday, December 04, 2007 9:04 AM
Subject: [LACTNET] Cradle Position
**Hello Gwen,
As a long standing IBCLC I place an enormous emphasis on not putting other
professional groups or peer support groups down. It is too easy to say they
did this or they did that. The focus should be on the fact that the person
was working to improve things for the woman.
**Interesting topic...! It is definitely true, that mothers may report
wrongly about what they've been told to (not) do or they may not have
understood fully what was explained, so there's truely a risk in instantly
believing what she says and it may well be worth the effort to hear the
other side of the story. Then again (and I'll be frank here... no fuss
intended): sometimes moms come up with 'tips and tricks' that are só
ridiculous (and that do not work at all), that they can hardly have figured
those out by themselves. And unfortunately, sometimes I more or less know
for sure that what they were advised, was really said by the HCP. As a
volunteer and future lc, my first loyalty is with the mothers and their
babies. Sometimes they intuitively know, that what they have heard, is
absolute rubbish. I don't think it is up to me defend someone else's utter
nonsense. I don't need to (and shouldn't!) make a witch hunt out of it (and
should preferably try to get in touch with that person and talk things
through), but after some careful active listening and asking questions, I
feel it is my job to empower the mother, as there are so many situations
where she is treated like a health care object, instead of being seen as an
autonomous dyad, that has to find its own way through the challenges of
early motherhood.
It's hard enough as it is, for many mothers/parents, to find out what fits
them and their families. Sometimes they just need recognition for their
wishes, not HCP-politics...
At times, lack of experience or insight may lead to problems, but it is
vital that we support each other and not put people down.
**It would be great, if that were possible. Nevertheless, I find it more
important to support the mother and not let her down...
And something else... could it have something to do with most of us being
women, that we try so hard to stay friends with everyone around us, no
matter how unknowledgeable they may be...? I see it this way: when people go
for a second opinion, they don't necessarily expect the second doctor to
back the first one up, but to offer a possibly totally new perspective, as
they are in doubt about what they heard with the first one and they want all
their options spelled out so they can make a well informed decision. Do they
necessarily care about their relationship with the first doctor (or the
relationship between the doctors), if the second one helps them and they
feel good and respected with his treatment? I don't think so. Of course, we
would all wish that second opinions weren't necessary, because every HCP is
so tremendously qualified, that one consultation is enough for healing and
improvement. This, however, is not the case. So: I agree that good relations
between HCPs are valuable. That being said, I give top priority to good,
respectful relations with mothers, being aware of their vulnerability early
pp and trying to offer them freedom of choice in their personal bf
management, regardless of what I would do.
Well, hope not to be 'cursing in the church', as a Dutch saying goes...!
;o))
Regards,
Marianne Vanderveen, Netherlands
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