Here's my opinion on whether feeding a baby with a bottle helps you "bond"
with the baby.
As a former night nurse in a hospital with a nursery, I have bottle fed many
scores of newborns--although I admit I seldom gave the same baby more than
two or three feeds. Having been a nursing mother myself, I tried to make it
as much like breastfeeding as I could, with lots of body contact, switching
sides, following the baby's pace, and trying to let the baby latch onto the
bottle instead of just poking it in. Of course, the not-very-satisfactory
tool I had to work with was the fast flow teat that US formula companies
supply to US hospitals.
To tell the truth, bottle feeding was kinda fun. But it was nothing like the
"real" feedings I had done with my own babies at my breast. I think the main
reason it was different was that there was little or no hormonal response in
me--no CCK, no oxytocin--so I didn't feel any connection with the baby.
Bottle feeding was something I was doing with my hands and my arms and my
chest and my face and my voice and my body rocking in a rocking chair...but
all of it was at some psychic distance from the baby. The baby couldn't
evoke a physical response from me because feeding was just something I *did*
with the bottle, while with my own kids feeding was more like something I
*was.* Bottle feeding was an activity. Breastfeeding was a state.
Now...maybe "bonding" is different for people who are not the baby's
breastfeeding partner. And I suspect that dads, with their different (male)
hormonal milieu, may very likely have a hormonal response to their
babies---the protective, territorial sort of response...but this is sheer
speculation on my part.
One other comment, and this is about babies who are older. I took a course
in feeding assessment, in which we watched videotapes of different babies
feeding. The bottle babies were about 2-4 months old, and their feeding were
so BORING to watch! The baby just lay there in mom's arms guzzling from the
bottle. One mom did a lot of talking to the baby and trying to interact, and
the baby just stared glassily ahead. The course had even advised us to watch
for interactions particularly during pauses for burping, and the babies did
make fleeting eye contact when mom was repositioning them for a burp and then
again for feeding. But the breastfed babies were so different---watching
mom's face, reaching up to her, playing with her buttons, sucking and pausing
and changing their rhythm at the breast, vocalizing---lots was happening.
So I agree with other people who have suggested dads can bond just fine with
body contact and other kinds of interaction with their babies. Bottle
feeding---even when it's mom's milk in the bottle---seems to me to be a very
flat and featureless type of interaction compared with breastfeeding.
I admit I'm prejudiced....
Chris Mulford, RN, IBCLC
Swarthmore PA (eastern USA)
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