Terry Lynn,
It hurts too much to own all the non-breastfeeding in the world, doesn't it?
I have an uneasy peace with mothers who have decided to feed artif baby milk.
 Every once in awhile I find out (through a psychic smack on the face) that I
cannot change the entire world, and then I get real depressed, then resolve
myself to helping the moms who come to me for assistance to breastfeed.  I
have learned to say sympathetic things to moms who give up (too easily in my
opinion) that will empower them to choose to try again someday or at least not
spread horror stories to other moms.  I have learned to bite my tongue when
someone close to me says "I should have breastfed, then my baby would not have
asthma and pneumonia."  These are very, very hard lessons.  I try to think
about the effect of my words, sure it would feel good to say I told you so,
but that would crush someone.  Saying, "well, you were very overwhelmed at the
time" or "I know you were very afraid you would not make enough milk" instead
helps the mom not to feel like sh-t.  Do I blow it?  Yup, sometimes.
        Something else that helped me was "Codependant No More" by, I think,
Melanie Beatty???  She talks about healthy detachment, where other people's
problems do not affect us more than our own do.  Highly recommended.
        Sorry so long, but this touched a nerve.  Please feel free to share
these feelings with us, your fellow "nipple nazis"!
Catherine Watson Genna, IBCLC