>Kathy D. mentioned a woman at convention who admitted to breastfeeding a
child of 11.  That makes me extremely uncomfortable.  I can wrap my mind
around 2-3-4-5, but there is a point where I would have to say, "I want my
body back".<

All of us have our own internal limits on all kinds of aspects of breastfeeding
/ parenting.  The important thing is working through these feelings, so that we
can own them and validate them for ourselves, while being able to put them to
one side in our breastfeeding support capacities.  It is no good to a woman
approaching you if your own agenda on breastfeeding -- in this case re: length
of nursing relationship -- is mixed up in the theraputic relationship.  It could
be that I think women 'ought' to bf for a minimum of x (supply your own figure
here) and a maximum of y (ditto) -- how useful is this?  Of course, I have my
own internal x and y, but *my job* is to keep these present for myself but
absent *as limits* for the mother.

In Rogerian person-centred counselling terms this is the tension between two of
the three core counselling conditions:  genuineness (being authentically
yourself) and empathy (seeing the world through the eyes of the other).  these
are then all wrapped up in the third core condition:  Unconditional Positive
Regard.  This is the theoretical basis for the work of the breastfeeding support
organisations in the UK -- I don't know to what extent it is shared by LLL inthe
US and whether any of this has crept into the IBCLC canon.  It is pretty useful
stuff as it provides not just a theory to organise helping around, but a safety
net for ourselves.

Magda Sachs
Breastfeeding Supporter, BfN, UK

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