Lee-Ann,
This is frequent in my own experience. Older moms need to be understood
in what they go through... Socially, they are usually recognized as
competent in many aspects of their lives, for example at work. They have
"proven" to others and to themselves and they can "control" their lives
with great competence. Now bring a little human into this controlled
environment, someone you cannot reason with, someone who disrupt all
your routine, and you feel as incompetent as when you were a younger
woman. What I like to repeat in prenatal classes (since I have lots of
35 y.o and over!) is that you need to take at least 2 full months to
parallel your timing with that of your baby, and not trying to "control"
anything. You need at least this period of time to (?) tame this little
animal you just had (in French we say "apprivoiser" which would be
equivalent to get to know and respect each other's rhythm rather than
trying to fit your baby into your schedule). When mothers understand
what this is all about, and that no one is ever a competent parent
within 24 hours, they usually re-focus their minds and their anxieties.
At least, this is what I see. Good luck!
Louise


Louise Dumas, R.N., M.S.N., PhD
Professor-researcher in Nursing Sciences
University of Quebec in Hull
(Western Quebec, Canada)

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