Hi All - I'm back.

The posts of the last day have been great and I can't keep from adding my
thoughts.  Kathy D as usual made a number of good points as did the people
approaching the issue from other angles.

A comment on meeting moms "where they are" - I think a lot of them are at
"Am I the only one that (fill in the blank - gets only 2 hours sleep, has a
baby that eats so often, etc... )?"

I spend a lot of time telling new (and not so new) parents that "Yes,
babies do that", "That is normal - in fact I would be concerned if s/he
wasn't doing that"  I can only think of a handful of times that I've done a
6 month well check where I didn't have to make that comment about what the
baby was trying to do with my stethoscope while I'm trying to listen to
their heart.  Don't apologize for your baby - that's what babies do and
it's ok.  [at 6 months they either take it off their chest if they are not
distracted or they grab the tubing and yank it :)]

I say that Moms feel tired.  There will be times that "a good day is one
where you get a shower" or you have to wash some thing 'cause there's no
more forks and you had pizza LAST night.  Frustrated moms need to hear that
"yes, other moms feel 'touched out' too - it will pass".  You're not a bad
mom for feeling this way about mothering/breastfeeding/your baby/whatever -
and you're not the only one.  It seems to take the need for "a quick fix"
i.e.. stopping bf or get baby to sleep through the night or whatever away.
No one wants to be the only one that's barely coping.

And in regards to (or defense of as the case may be) American women - I
don't know any that REALLY knew what it was going to be like being a mom.
{Myself included}  While life is a matter of priorities and as Kathy points
out you can only make "Good Choices" when you have "good information"  a
lot of women are not in a position to say "stop the world - I've decided to
get off!".  When you've figured out your priorities - now that your life is
different - it may take months or even years to get things in your life how
you'd best like them to be for your kids.

Gail
Gail S. Hertz, MD, IBCLC
Resident,  Dept. of Pediatrics
PSGHS Children's Hospital
Hershey  PA
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