Here I go out on that limb again...
   Several years ago I had the opportunity to interview Dr. Richard Ferber
for a newsletter I published at the time. He was a gracious and gentle-man.
Although it wasn't included in his first edition, he insisted that he never
meant for his "method" to be tried with infants (full-term) less than 6-7
months. At least until then, infants should be responded to ASAP. He also
never tried to push this method or promote the idea that getting
infants/toddlers to sleep through the night is the only or best way.
   I can't help but think there is at least some truth in the idea of night
waking for breastfeeding (after some point) as being associated with the
child's ritual for falling asleep. (Ferber discussed how each of us has our
own ritual for falling to sleep--we usually don't think about it, but we tend
to recreate the same conditions night after night--which is why Linda S. has
trouble sleeping in a hotel bed.)
  When my twins were 25 months and I got my first bout of mastitis behind a
cracked nipple (should've thought of the dirt they ate), I could not nurse
them because of the excrutiating pain--I would start to cry if one latched
and the boys would back off. No tears or fear--they just didn't want to hurt
me. When they came in that night, I said, "Remember Mommy cry?" They nodded
and went back to bed. By three nights they had both stopped waking at night.
I'm sorry but I really appreciated not being awakened every hour by one or
the other after two plus years of being in a zombie-like state due to sleep
deprivation--co-sleeping with restless twins is not the same as with one.
(Had they cried or been upset, we would have worked out something else. Also,
they slept together on a mattress on the floor and came in with us after
waking the first time. I think their co-sleeping made a big difference.)
  When my 5th child was 15-16 months, I decided to try Ferber's method with
her. All day we discussed how she was a big girl and so did not need
"mulkies" during the night anymore. I told her if she woke, I would bring a
glass of water to her in bed and then rub her back for a minute when she lay
back down. Well, when she woke up that first night, I went in with the glass
of water and repeated the "big girl" story we'd discussed several times the
day before. She nodded her head that she remembered, drank her water, lay
down, went back to sleep, and rarely ever woke at night from then on. Did I
think this idea would ever work--no way--but it did. I would not have let her
cry, but there was not even one tear shed; not one protest. (She did play
musical beds with various siblings for a few years and she was welcome to
come lie down with us too.)
   I still cherish nights of uninterrupted sleep--I'd take them for granted
without the experience of night waking. I would not want anyone to think I am
promoting the idea of letting babies cry at night to learn how to go back to
sleep. But I also do not want to dismiss an idea that can be used in a loving
way if the child is ready but has been breastfeeding at night more as part of
a ritual to fall back to sleep.
Karen G.
P.S. I'm revving up for my 5th teenager (the "baby" is 12). And yes, I can
and do fall asleep before my teens arrive home safely at night. (However,
they come in and let me know when they get home.) And yes, more than one has
been involved in an accident--only one rather major (knock on wood). But I
know that whether I'm awake or asleep, it won't change anything. (As my
great-uncle, who died last week at the age of 99, used to say, "So I should
worry?")