>As far as older children and co-sleeping, my daughter and I hit a rough
patch in
>our relationship last year. I took to going in her room a while before
time to
>get her up for school and snuggling into bed with her for half an hour. She
>wasn't even awake, but I swear it made a difference. In her? In me? I'm
really
>not sure.
How beautiful!! This is an inspiration for all of us with children of any
age. Thank you for sharing this.
I was ready early this year to do some serious healing of my relationship
with my mother, who is 81. [There are a lot of abandonment issues.] I
planned a visit--to North Carolina. I thought of talking about the "stuff"
of my growing up but, each time I would rehearse it, I knew that she would
either not understand or would be hurt, and we would end up where we had been.
As I continued to ponder what I would say or do, it came to me that I would
just "touch her"--no words. She is diabetic and has circulation problems
in her feet, so I decided that I would take some of my essential oils and
would massage her feet, concluding with a warm foot bath.
As I shared with friends my plans to "touch" my mother, one of them said,
"Be sure to let her 'touch' you.'" I must say that I was shaken by this
suggestion. Each time I remembered her words I would weep. I was surprised
by my reaction.
I went for the visit, and twice I massaged her feet and gave her the foot
bath. It felt good. Of the oils, once I used "Peace and Calming" and the
next time "Joy." I thought that we could use all of the help we could get.
I came home in a much better place with my mother. I feel "tender" toward
her now. There is a difference. And as Joanne wrote of the difference, "In
her? In me?"
I did let her "touch" me. There was an intimacy, a connection, and it has
made a difference.
Pat Gima, IBCLC
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
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