I love Elizabeth's post! As peers we may, between ourselves, refer to a certain client as "a train wreck" , a baby that is FLK - and that may be OK if he is the product of a FLM or FLD, etc. but we all probably assert that we are there to help a woman meet "her" breastfeeding goals, as well as promote breastfeeding in general. So, I guess being " snarky" is OK, but I hope we each would be able to recognize our "off-the-record"  expressions as such and go on to address the real issues . 
Melinda Harris-Moulton, FNP, IBCLC












Sent from my iPad

On Nov 23, 2013, at 11:43 AM, Judy LeVan Fram <[log in to unmask]> wrote:

> Elizabeth writes:
> 
> I  suppose I need to remember that what's posted here isn't necessarily 
> what a  client hears. 
> ~~~ Hello Wise and Compassionate ones.
> I think Elizabeth makes an excellent point. LN has been for me, not just a  
> place to listen and learn, but a place to lament, to vent, and to ask the 
> hard  questions and share emotionally challenging responses. I would venture 
> to  speculate that even if a poster is expressing something that seems like 
> a  judgment, it is because this has been considered a safe place, and for 
> some one  of the only places, to share the feelings around that 
> statement/judgment. It is  not something that would be said to a mother who just wants an 
> answer to her  question. We know that the counseling part of this work is  
> key, meeting a  mother where she is, asking questions and being willing to 
> hear her answers, and  the questions and answers beneath them, assisting her 
> with information about  factors she may not have known or considered 
> regarding her choices. Most of us  have worked with, counseled, moms who will at 
> some points do something radically  different than we did as mothers, or even 
> something that might have severe,  irreversible or unintended consequences. 
> We have all walked that line,  needing to give the best information we can, 
> while supporting a mother in her  goals,  in the choices she is making, 
> whether we would make them, or  whether we even see them as being feasible( mom 
> wants to build her supply toward  normal but doesn't want to pump at all, or 
> to put baby to breast, but will drink  galactogogic tea ...). We will 
> support and work with whatever effort a mom  can make at the time.  Sometimes that 
> is exceptionally difficult. I think  that's why we see so much passion on 
> LN, because this is one place we can show  it. This is one reason I think we 
> are asked never to forward a post without the  permission of the poster. 
> Even if we would give the exact same information, we  would probably give it 
> much differently, in tone, in form, in breadth, in depth,  and totally 
> individualized as we can make it.Lactnet is one place we can be  honest, we can 
> support and challenge each other respectfully,  and we  can be as passionate as 
> we are, because so much of our work requires a deep  level of moderation to 
> remain as calm, compassionate and as capable of helping  mothers, as this 
> work demands. And we are not, despite the shared commitment to  this work, 
> monolithic in our approach and values and beliefs, about infant  
> feeding/nurturing, or any other aspect of life that comes into contact with that  work. 
> We have different backgrounds, styles of communication, boundaries, and  
> triggers. I think that has always been one of the beauties of this  "place."  
> The safety of the shared parts makes possible the challenge of  the 
> differences. It's kind of amazing, actually.
> 
> Peace,
> Judy  
> 
> Judy LeVan  Fram, PT, IBCLC, LLLL
> Brooklyn, NY,  USA
> [log in to unmask]
> 
>             ***********************************************
> 
> Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html
> To reach list owners: [log in to unmask]
> Mail all list management commands to: [log in to unmask]
> COMMANDS:
> 1. To temporarily stop your subscription write in the body of an email: set lactnet nomail
> 2. To start it again: set lactnet mail
> 3. To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
> 4. To get a comprehensive list of rules and directions: get lactnet welcome

             ***********************************************

Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html
To reach list owners: [log in to unmask]
Mail all list management commands to: [log in to unmask]
COMMANDS:
1. To temporarily stop your subscription write in the body of an email: set lactnet nomail
2. To start it again: set lactnet mail
3. To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
4. To get a comprehensive list of rules and directions: get lactnet welcome