>
>Perhaps Dianne W's insight to promote BFING as NORMAL, not as
>perfect or "the best" has even more relevance here.  I think the
>more that we talk about bfing as "the miracle food", "the gold
>standard" "give your baby the best", this places the bfing family as
>thinking they are being super parents, extra righteous, etc.  They
>should realize they are just being normal.  The "righteous" bfing
>mom can do as much damage to promoting bfing, as the out-spoken
>criticizer of NIP.


But there's a paradox here, even so....

It can be heroic to breastfeed, and sometimes a mother has to be
'superparent' to do it, in the face of opposition from family,
friends and society at large...even her health advisers can be
undermining at best and sabotaging at worst.

Let's take the mother who came to my home the other day, weeping with
pain as she latched her 2 week old baby on....both her nipples were
ulcerated, raw and bleeding.

She had been told it's 'normal' for bf to hurt and her nipples would
have to toughen up (been told by family, friends and yes, her health
advisers, who informed her the baby was well-positioned and attached
- she was NOT, a situation I could see at a glance, even if I had
needed any proof after seeing the effects and hearing the mother's
story), so she just pressed on, with her nipples becoming worse at
every feed.

She is a heroine for seeking out the right sort of help and
information that will (hopefully) allow her nipples to heal and for
her to resume painfree bf.  I tell mothers they are stars, and they
should get a 'breastfeeding medal' for persisting.

While bf is (of course) physiologically normal, and we should
remember that every time we hear stuff like 'bf reduces the risk
of....'

But it isn't socially or culturally normal for many women, and they
do deserve our praise and admiration.  Hey, let them feel proud of
themselves and as self-righteous as they want : ))))
>
>As someone said before on Lactnet, its really all about good manners
>- one should never directly comment on any other individual's
>behaviour in public.


Agree wholeheartedly - the idea that any mother should be confronted
unpleasantly about what she is feeding her baby with is way out of
line. Even the self-righteous mother should not judge someone as
being inferior in some way!

Heather Welford Neil
NCT bfc Newcastle upon Tyne UK

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