Ann writes
 <<now feel just awful about this mom and her loss of breastfeeding and wonder
what I could have done more, and what may have helped this mom.>>
From what you said, you did everything that could be done short of telling
this mom to get another opinion.  Sometimes they are so sick they don't want
another opinion--they just want to get better.  Time is also a critical
factor.  In today's health care  environment referrals for second opinions can
take days unless the patient is very proactive.  Most are too sick to have
that kind of energy.  I can count the abscesses I've seen on one hand and
can't remember one mom who continued to nurse.
LC's end up in a Catch 22 situation when we have to defer care to physicians
for jaundice, mastitis, thrush; the list is endless.  We don't have the scope
of practice to treat anything beyond normal breastfeeding.  (unless of course
you have the license to do more).
We HAVE TO get a network of supportive physicians for referrals.  Talk to this
surgeon, go in with a smile on you face and make nice. Don't let him feel that
you are questioning his judgement--look at it like he just might not know or
perhaps he knows more about the bacteria and treatment than you do.  But go in
armed with every piece of information  you can find.  Things about abscess and
the grief reaction involved in weaning.  Maybe you'll make a connection.  At
the very least you will come away with a deeper understanding of the surgeon's
concerns.
Marie Davis
Who has DAYS when she wishes her initials stood for more than her name.