Frances wrote about how mothers are given the message of "how much FUN others have
feeding baby" and how it "sounds like guilt on mom in a way to deny these others..."
        This struck a chord in my memory. When I was in my early twenties, I remember being
invited to visit the first of my girlfriends (another Frances!) to have a baby. I went, with
gift in hand,and duly admired the babe sleeping in his crib, and then settled down for a chat
with my friend. After a while, the baby awoke, and I was handed the bottle, and told that I
could have the *fun* of feeding him. It was a very strange experience for me. I did not feel at
all connected to this baby, although I gurgled babytalk to him and cooed sweet nothings into his
ears. I felt like an imposter, an unwanted intruder. These feelings, I am sure, had nothing to
do with his mother, who sat near us, beaming gently on us both, and asking if I was looking
forward to having a baby of my own. I am sure that it did have *something* to do with the fact
that this was not *my* baby, but there was more to it than that, because I felt quite
differently, some years later, when I nursed another mother's baby in an emergency situation.
No, I would probably not do that again, knowing what I do now! and yes, by then I was more used
to babies, but it was still very different to feeding a bottle.
        Anyway, my question is, what makes a mother choose to breastfeed? Why did so many of you
make that choice, despite the massive pressure to conform to societal bottlefeeding norms? For
me, it was a gut feeling of *rightness*. The very first time I ever saw a woman breastfeed was
on a bus in Israel, when I was 18 years old. I remember the occaision quite distinctly. We were
in the Galilee, just approaching Lake Tiberias, when a heavily veiled Arab woman boarded the
bus. She sat down right across from me, and pushed aside her clothing to expose her breast and
latch on her baby. I remember the angry and embarressed stares of some of the other passengers,
but to me it seemed to be the most beautiful and natural sight in the world.
        It was this memory that was running through my head while I was bottlefeeding Frances's
baby, a few years later. Later on, when I became pregnant with my own child, there was just no
question in my mind about how he would be fed. Breastfeeding was the only thing I ever
*considered* doing. It had very little do do with nutritional and other health benefits,
although I paid lip-service to these, but rather to do with a desire to do the most natural
thing, in the belief that mammary gland must have been put their for a good reason.

Norma Ritter, IBCLC, LLLL
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"If not now, when? If not us, who?" R. Hillel