Phyllis writes:

>I think we need to rethink genital surgery (mutilation) of either sex.

I agree completely.  And if I had it to do over, would not circumcize my sons.

Debi writes:
>I must say that Kathy D.'s statement about her college students struck a
>nerve with me.  She said that the women in her college class were
>getting a degree just in case... and that they seemed to think that "the
>ideal is still to be at home with a man supporting them".
>Most of my friends are in their late 20's, all college educated, most with
>graduate degrees.  We DO want a man to support us, BECAUSE WE
>WANT TO STAY HOME WITH OUR CHILDREN!!!!  (yes, I'm shouting!).

Debi, you have a very good point here, of course.  But what my students are
saying is that they want to be "Mrs. So-and-so" as in "the WIFE of a doctor"
or "the WIFE of an engineer" -- instead of BEING A DOCTOR or BEING AN
ENGINEER (Yes, I'm shouting too).  And while I think it would be an ideal
world if every mother had a year of maternity leave to stay home with her
child the first year and breastfeed, and if we had workplaces that were
truly completely 100% baby-friendly so we could have our kids with us while
we work (if that's compatible with our job), I also wish to respectfully
point out that after the breastfeeding part is over that DAD can stay home
with the kids as easily as mom.  It is possible to work toward a goal of
everyone having more choices about what they do with their lives, of both
parents being equally involved in the domestic side of life, etc.  These
girls in my classes (and it's not all of them, by any means) just drive me
nuts -- they think the whole point of life is to be razor thin and beautiful
and have perfect hair and get a man.  The local Italian restaurant has an
advertisement in which they say that you should cater your wedding reception
with them because after all "Your wedding day is the most important day of
your life" -- and these girls believe it.  There ARE other options than
either staying home barefoot and pregnant, totally economically *and*
emotionally dependent for your identity on a man, or being some kind of
witch who leaves her kids in daycare 14 hours a day and couldn't care less
about them.

The promotion of breastfeeding and attachment parenting and feminism go hand
in hand.  Read some of Penny Van Esterik's wonderful articles.....

Kathy Dettwyler, who's sorry she offended you!




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Katherine A. Dettwyler, Ph.D.                         email: [log in to unmask]
Anthropology Department                               phone: (409) 845-5256
Texas A&M University                                    fax: (409) 845-4070
College Station, TX  77843-4352