I have also come across the moms who are being led to believe that they can
control their baby´s needs by controling his or her behavior, and am very
concerned with the development of the mother/child relationship created by 
this type of ¨training¨...

However, just as with everything else - take the good and forget/leave that
which you do not find works for you - may be the type of message we need to
speak to people who have come to us with the feeling that the Ezzo method
will help them ¨get control¨ of their lives.

We have all seen children whose parents have taken the idea of ¨baby-led¨
feedings, sleeps, etc. to the extreme - not allowing themselves to display
any sort of disciplinary behavior (please do not read ¨spank¨ - I mean
discipline like in teaching, leading, guiding, educating and modeling). 
These parents feel their whole lives are out of control and are not happy
with their children or themselves.  Perhaps the Ezzo system can be used -
taking the good and leaving the bad - so that we could suggest an age when
the suggestions they give are appropriate.  

After all, if we are not happy with our children and with our interactions
with them, our children sense it and cannot but feel rejected and
frightened (if mom doesn´t love me, who will?).  

As  LC´s we need to be careful not to give the impression we are ¨experts¨
in everything related to child behavior - even though sometimes moms keep
calling us for information related to everything from how to potty train to
what school (or home schooling) alternative to use.  

I do suggest we be careful of giving a ¨knee jerk¨ reaction to everything
related to  Ezzo - if people have found it works for them, then they have
had a need - I suggest that LC´s discuss with the parents what the parents
plan to do in relation to the breastfed baby - and respond to that
particular suggestion discussing with the parents the possible alternatives
and results of each alternative.  In this way we give the parents the risks
and benefits (sound familiar?) and let them decide what they want to do -
which they ultimately will do, anyways.  It will keep the lines of
communication open for possible later discussion when parents may feel less
overwhelmed and have seen the consequences of their actions.

I am currently in daily contact with a mom who is trying to decide if the
erratic life that a breastfeeding baby brings to her home is something she
can tolerate.  She keeps calling - which means she hasn´t yet given up -
but every time she calls I remember how overwhelming life can be with a
newborn - especially if you have until now been a ¨totally in control of
everything professional¨.    I imagine Ezzo would sound wonderful to her
right now...

Jeanette Panchula, BSW, RN, IBCLC, LLLL
Puerto Rico
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