Marie, (I am severely behind so forgive my tardiness)

"Anna DID IT ALL by herself"

No she didn't.  YOU believed in Anna(!!) and in turn, Anna believed in
Carla (!!).  What I have discovered in helping nonlatchers is that moms who
really want to breastfeed (and it seems to be Murphy's law - the more they
want to the harder the problem, ever notice that bottle feeding moms have
textbook nipples and wildly rooting babies hahahaha)  will hang on if they
are simply given time to just express their frustration to someone who will
listen.

I too do not force babies.  My rule is 10 minute (or less if baby is
arching) attempt and then move on to Linda's rule "Feed The Baby" (unless
simply sleepy and doing okay).  This gives mom a plan B so that she doesn't
(correctly) feel like she is starving her kid.  I give them several options
for feeding and help them pick the one that is right for them.  There are
pro's and con's to each one - plan B won't work if mom can't or won't use
it.  I have a whole table on feeding methods and when to and when not to
use each one based on 4 years of trial and error and Lactnet / literature.

The most notable nonlatchers are the ones with narcs in their systems.  If
mom can just hang on with plan B, there is usually a light at the end of
the tunnel in 1 - 3 weeks.  I almost always got a call on the 10th day that
was joyous, mom profusely thanking me (like you Marie, I didn't think I was
doing anything), saying that her baby just latched on and nursed for an
hour never looking back.  I finally realized that simply providing plan B,
reassurance / ear to listen / shoulder to cry on, followup every 1 or 2
days makes a helpless/ hopeless situation manageable.  Without this, even
the most persistent moms will give up (and give in to hubby and MIL
pressure)

Debbie Codding, RNC
Naval Hospital Guam