In general, I too, have seen an increase in mothers wanting to pump their
milk to be fed in a bottle. They see it as a 'superior' form of formula (a
Dad actually said this in a bf class!)  I have found that it helps if I point
out how interconnected mother and baby's systems are, the inconvenience of
frequent pumping & lack of guarantee of how long milk production can be kept
up without breastfeeding.

I have also found that I frequently have Mom's come in for a consult, who are
extra-stressed because Dad dosen't understand what the big deal is, why spend
$$ on consult, pump, etc - just give the baby a bottle.  Depending on the
client, how open she is, how well we've connected, I sometimes tell them that
I think it really is hard for Dad's to understand the breastfeeding
experience and Mom's responses to it, because Dad's don't have a similarly
physical, emotional stake in the feeding process.  That the most similar
situation that I think a male could relate to would be sex.  Obviously sex is
an important part of the intimate relationship between a man and woman, but
it is possible to continue a relationship without it.  And men, more so than
women, have more of their ego involved in the sexual relationship.  So I
suggest that the Mom pick her time and place carefully and consider
suggesting to her mate that to her, suggesting that she just give up
breastfeeding and go to the bottle, would be like her suggesting that if
suddenly the male/mate was having some sort of sexual dysfunction, she
suggested that it wasn't necessary to spend the money & time on Dr.s &
treatment, after all there are other ways she can be satisfied sexually,
mechanical devices, etc.  This gives Mom a good laugh, a chance to understand
why her mate dosen't empathize, and a way to help him see things the way she
sees them.

(I hope I haven't offended people with this analogy)

Jonathan, I would like to echo all the things that have been said by others,
about the differences in mothering and fathering.  I have run into many, many
pregnant couples who believe that daddy giving a bottle is necessary for
bonding.  I think it's important that we dispel this myth.  If bottles & the
other stuff weren't available, then the idea of giving Mom a break with the
nighttime feeding, wouldn't even come up.  I realize you are suggesting this
option not as a way to supercede the breastfeeding, but as a way to offer
support to Mom, letting her sleep, etc.  But if alternate feeding methods
weren't an option, what other ways would you, as a caring mate, attempt to
lighten Mom's load?

And the idea of getting more sleep . . . most women I know are up several
times a night urinating by late pregnancy, which I believe is nature's way of
preparing us for those sleep interrupted nights after baby comes.  The sleep
studies by James Mckenna show that mothers & babies who sleep together drift
to wakefulness several times a night at the same time and not always for a
feeding.  (I think most bf mothers will attest to this). And that even in the
dyads who weren't sleeping in the same rooms, both mom & babe were awake
several times, just never 'in sync'.  In other words, I don't think the 'get
more sleep' theory really works out that way.   Especially, since most
breastfeeding mothers would need to express their milk if they were skipping
a feeding, for A) their own physical comfort & to prevent a soaked bed & B)
to make sure the breast was being stimulated to continue to keep the milk
supply up.

I believe that once breastfeeding is going well, that the vast majority of
breastfeeding mothers really don't need or want someone to 'take over a
feeding'.  This is Mom's territory, and many mothers are offended when
someone suggests she 'take a break'.
To utilize my analogy, how would the typical male feel if his spouse
suggested that he 'take a break', that he wasn't needed for this particular
time?

There are many other issues which could be brought up: the possibility that
introducing even the occasional bottle could put the child at risk for fluid
behind the ears and increased ear infections; the temptation to use a bottle
more frequently during other times, thereby devaluing the breastfeeding; the
possibility that during a nursing strike baby would accept bottle easily,
making it more difficult to get baby back on the breast; the chance that baby
would eventually become more attached to bottle, leading to early intro of
juices leading to earlier weaning, etc.

What it comes down to is that the night relief bottle generally is not that
helpful to mother, is not necessary to promote bonding between Dad & baby,
and usually ends up being dropped as a nuisance, or becoming more than just
the occasional bottle leading to earlier cessation of breastfeeding.  So why
would we want to suggest or promote it?

I think most LC's when faced with a client who wants to utilize this option,
informs them of the risks, trys to assess what the real reasoning is & help
explore other options, and if the client still wants to continue, the LC
let's the client make her own decision.

Now, Jonathan, what does P.E. stand for?  I've been wondering for ages, not
wanting to ask, for fear of showing my ignorance of the obvious, but I still
haven't figured it out.