Hi Nikki,
I think that the ideas that you raise here are pretty uncontroversial. I would point out however that there's a vast difference between communicating with an individual and public health communications and communicating with an individual and data collection.  The former we emphasise the importance of in our paper, the latter is where it sexed language may be necessary for reasons of clarity, inclusivity, and accuracy and to protect the mother-infant dyad. The needs of the most vulnerable must be given particularly consideration. 

I didn’t point out previously but the newness of the idea that a word like ‘mother' is a gendered term related to gender identity deserves some interrogation. Certainly the concept of gender identity is very new, having only been developed in the 1960s but the use of gendered terms is even newer, so new for example, that ‘mother’ as a gendered term is not even included in the Oxford English Dictionary. In contrast, the meaning of ‘mother’ as applying to sex, that is meaning a female parent, is noted as the primary meaning in the OED with examples of usage  going back 1000 years provided https://www.oed.com/viewdictionaryentry/Entry/122640#:~:text=a.,a%20stepmother. 

My experience in working with the most marginalised mothers, those whose relationship is in jeopardy because of child protection concerns, incarceration, adoption or surrogacy but also in resource poor environment where maternal and infant mortality is high, is that language can be used to marginalise or support and one of the key ways of marginalising is to avoid using the term ‘mother’ or to qualify it (eg ‘birth mother’). Such is the power of the word- it holds meaning that goes way beyond what the dictionary says- that people will avoid using the term where they do not want the woman recognised as a mother or want to undermine her importance to the child (the most extreme examples are ‘surrogate,’ ‘gestational carrier,’ ‘incubator’). This is all in my mind as I just complete a submission to a government inquiry on children of prisoners! Best get back to it!

Karleen Gribble
Australia


> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Date:    Tue, 19 Apr 2022 11:56:52 -0400
> From:    Nikki Lee <[log in to unmask]>
> Subject: thoughts on inclusivity
> 
> Dear Lactnet Friends:
> 
> Keyena, you wrote magic words from your heart. Thank you.
> 
> Last month, I attended a 3-part series given by Stephanie Wagner (with Lori
> Feldman-Winter), on the topic of LBGTQIA+, inclusivity, lactation and
> breastfeeding.  Ms Wagner's message was clear and strong: we are talking
> inclusivity. Everyone, in all the majesty of their individuality, is a part
> of feeding and tending to our babies.
> 
> I love the attitude of inclusivity, that we can use female pronouns where
> appropriate (as determined by our clients) and male pronouns where
> appropriate (as determined by our clients) and new or neutral pronouns
> where appropriate (as determined by our clients). All we have to do is ask.
> I love 21st century etiquette, with pronouns in our signature lines.
> 
> When I teach, I use predominantly female pronouns. Most breastfeeding
> research is oriented to the female experience, as is most breastfeeding.
> This is the disclaimer.  And, then,  class integrates the terms lactating
> parent and chestfeeding person, along with the Gender Unicorn and case
> studies, so the participants become familiar with the wide world of
> lactation and breastfeeding. Bringing people close makes them familiar;
> when we hear their stories, we can relate to their experience and embrace
> them.
> 
> We don't want to ignore or to hurt anyone.
> 
> As I open myself to new ways of language (and life),  I reflect back to my
> mother. I was in college (1968-1972) before she was legally permitted to
> have her own credit card and checking account.  History doesn't change, and
> inclusivity means that the fight for women's rights is still alive and
> strong, along with the fight for the rights of all humans to love each
> other.
> Many things can be true at once.
> 
> The British TV series, Sex Education, included a story line about 2 young
> men, who fell in love with each other. The tenderness and vulnerability of
> the way that story was presented, with a new chapter every episode, opened
> my heart big-time, as I saw that the experience of adolescent first love is
> similar for everyone.
> 
> This dialogue, now and here, is a way that we change and grow, in
> community.
> 
> I am grateful for Lactnet.
> 
> warmly,
> -- 
> Nikki Lee
> RN, BSN, Mother of 2, MS, IBCLC, CCE, CIMI, ANLC, CKC, RYT500
> *@NikkiLeeHealth*
> Pronouns: she/her/hers
> *Communications are confidential and meant only for whom they are
> addressed.*

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