Re: << I use the word confusion because I think it is less upsetting to 
mothers. It is very upsetting emotionally for a mother to find that her baby who has been given bottles now doesn't seem to know what to do with her breast, or latches painfully, or lets go and cries because it isn't the firm nipple with milk dripping out of it that he was expecting. To say the baby "prefers" the bottle nipple says to many mothers that the baby is rejecting her nipple and her breast - that he doesn't want to breastfeed. It feels very personal. So I try to reassure mothers that the baby DOES want to breastfeed, that her nipples and breasts are just perfect, but he's just a little confused right now and we'll help him figure it out. >>

I still prefer to go with an "oral behavior" explanation with mother vs. "confusion" because of its implication of abstract thinking capability, which an infant does not possess. I think it was Linda Smith who gave me an analogy that helps with explaning an infant's difficulty/decreased ability to go easily between breast and bottle. 

Nearly every mother I encounter has had some sort of experience learning a sport. With something such as tennis or swimming (soccer, baseball, etc.) many have some self-learning before taking formal lessons. When one learns proper stroke movement be it for any sport, it may at first feel awkward because one's muscles in that area have already learned to do it another way. One has to "unlearn" the old movements and, with practice, the new movements takes the place of the old ones and becomes the familiar pattern. So in a sense, the muscles in the baby's mouth must "unlearn" a certain movement pattern and relearn a new one. That takes practice and patience on the part of a "coach"/mother too... 

In my knife and fork culture, I can also use learning to use chopsticks as an analogy, which I often do for putting baby to breast during early cues when baby is experiencing a difficulty BF. When voracious, any of us will just want our knife and fork; most of us are more willing to learn a new way of eating if we're a little bit hungry but not to voracious.

Karen

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