In a message dated 7/27/2003 10:29:57 AM Eastern Standard Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:

> We work a lot harder to stay out of holes than we do to climb trees.  If a
> mother sees formula as a deep dark hole in the flat plain of her mothering
> experience, she'll work really hard to stay out of it.  If she sees
> breastfeeding as a tree on that flat plain that simply offers a nicer view,
> she'll probably quit trying to climb it as soon as she realizes it doesn't
> come with an escalator.
>

well, here's the hard part for me. the moms i work with are all already home
and babies are usually about 2 wks old by the time i get them. i also get many
moms of multiples. i would say over half of them are supplementing. when i
explore why, they just thought it was the 'thing to do' and better to help the
baby sleep at night as well as get weight on. these moms are usually open to
learning more and very concerned when they learn about the risks to their supply
and baby with using formula. their goal quickly becomes to exclusively bf.
the moms of multiples need a lot more fine tuning, of course,  to get to
exclusively providing breastmilk, but it's always a joy to see how self empowered
these moms feel when they realize their bodies CAN do it. these are the moms that
keep me doing this. then there are the moms that are almost exclusively
formula feeding by the couple weeks when i meet them. now i only get the ones that
stated in the hosp they wanted to bf. so it's logical i would try to backtrack
and see where the goals changed. and invariably (besides the automatic lack
of supportive hospital personnel - even if this was only mom's perception at a
very hormonal time -as well as relatives, friends and ped) it comes down to
what mom perceives is more convenient for her and her partner. so i gently
remind her of her original stated goal and enthuse that she is still making
milk/feeling engorged/leaking when baby cries etc...and pontificate that this is a
sign her body still wants to and is capable of exclusive bfing. i always toss
out the AAP and WHO recommendations of 1 and 2 yrs minimum, respectively. and
here's the response i get every time that still just floors me and unhinges my
jaw. 'i know they say to go a year, but my baby is doing fine on formula and i
plan to stop at 3 wks/ 6 wks/12 wks, etc...'          how how HOW do you hear
from authorities that 1 yr minimum provides your baby with optimum health and
you are fine with less than half of that by far? i want to ask what else they
are willing to compromise so drastically in their baby's life and health! and
i live in the 3rd wealthiest county in the nation - most of the moms i get are
affluent or very financially comfortable, stay at home or work from home or
work out of home part time, college degreed, 30ish 1st time moms. the only ones
that flummox me into stupor and a complete inability to even verbalize a
cogent response are the ones that already switched completely to formula by 2 wks
when i get them. now you have to r/m these are moms that filled out forms
requesting follow up support for breastfeeding once they are home. when i explore
why they switched and tell them it's not too late to relactate, i get the
response that ffing is going great, baby very happy, mom very happy, my help is no
longer needed! and this is after i explain that baby is only sleeping more
b/c formula is so much harder on their little bodies...offer links and articles
to formula recalls and risks inherent in using formula...this is my rant about
my frustration about knowing how to deal with those moms! i just don't know
how to shake it off that someone could have the key to optimum health, growth
and development literally at their bosom for their child and yet deny it in
favor of ...what, i'm not sure. convenience? more sleep? approval from partner
and family? i know i must be missing something here, like some of the possible
scenarios some of you have brought up about why moms really may not want to
bf...i'm glad i found this list to open my eyes a little wider. and also maybe it
will save my tongue from being severed with all the biting of it i have to do
if i can have a 'rant outlet' here! thanks for listening!

~jacqui gruttadauria
"bobo, what are you doing to deedle?"
"pankin him butt, mumma"
"bobo, we don't spank in this house"
"ony pank him outside, mumma?"


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