"My baby sucks his thumb to go to sleep- he won't go to sleep unless it is
in his mouth."   "My baby won't go to sleep without his pacifier, my
husband had to go out at midnight to buy a new one when we couldn't find
the old one."  "My baby won't go to sleep unless his daddy rocks him and
sings to him- he cried all night when my husband was out of town." "My
baby won't go to sleep unless he has his little blanky, when we left it at
home he cried all day at daycare" "My baby won't sleep unless he is cuddled
up next to someone, as soon as I get up, he wakes up, I never get a break."
I could go on and on- putting babies to sleep can be difficult! They often
develop a connection for sleep that is difficult to change. My question is
Is this a problem??? Well, maybe. The problem is not the baby falling
asleep breastfeeding, but the parents difficulty in accepting that this is
what works for their child. When a mom says "My husband doesn't like or
doesn't want something" I often find that if I substitute "I" for "my
husband", I often get more to the root of the problem. This may be a
situation where expectations simply don't meet reality and changing
attitudes may be more important than changing nursing patterns. If mom puts
a different spin on it, it may change dad's reaction. If she gripes and
complains about having to nurse the baby to sleep and is generally
irritable about it, dad may be more inclined to insist on a change than if
mom says, we are so lucky, all I have to do is nurse her and she goes right
to sleep. I had a baby that woke as many as 20 times during the night from
birth until 2 1/2. Until I gave in and began to enjoy those special quiet
times together, I was a basket case and my husband wanted the baby out of
our bed and sleeping through the night. Once I began to see them as special
and to find time to nap during the day to make up for lost sleep, we both
began to enjoy the special closeness we had as a breastfeeding family. Also
when a baby senses  that you are irritated and pushing them away, they
cling closer. I don't think this is a breastfeeding problem but one that
needs a little spin and understanding of baby's needs. Cathy Liles

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